Keeping the faith

I sketched a self portrait today, based on a photo of me sitting on a motorcycle. The windshield has become a bejeweled armor of silver and gold in my left hand; instead of the throttle, I’ve got a sword in my right. I’m poised with a foot on one rock, with my massive wings (that make me fly really fast) towering over my head. My head radiates a beam of divine light. I am wearing a white robe, pink sunglasses, and smiling. I am a superhero for God.

I did this after church today: where I felt once more as if the spotlight was aimed at my head and the minister was speaking directly to me … Pastor Doyle talked about ‘Living a Heroic Life’. This is the word I was grasping for last night as I penned my journal. HEROIC. Not as in superheroes with fluttering capes and bizarre powers, but heroes who plug away, every day, and keep moving forward, in spite of ( insert obstacle here ). I want to live a heroic life that inspires, teaches or uplifts. I’m sure all these challenges are not for naught. There must be something redeeming in all this insanity!

He talked of rejecting resignation in the face of challenge; and maintaining a readiness, and the resilience, to go on. He pointed to the life of Joseph -- who was sold into slavery by his own brothers. Even so, Joseph kept the faith and kept doing the right thing; because he believed there was a bigger plan. And there was. (Joseph was eventually released by the Pharaoh, became a bigwig, and his vision and actions kept the people of Egypt - and his own family - alive during a seven year famine.)

It is so easy to resign yourself to fate, to lose sight of the path in the everyday muddle of difficulties. How many times have I had to ‘recover’? How many times have I had to ‘start over again’? But I am not a quitter: I feel there IS a bigger plan. Maybe I don’t know what it is, but I have definitely learned over the years to bank on God. And I certainly don't need any more 'reminders' to get my attention: I'm all ears Lord.

The one thing I’m not is miserable. I am so full of joy, despite these hiccups. (If there were a ‘World’s Best Hospital Patient’ reality show, I would be the winner. Seriously.) Okay, so I have a few mopey moments and instances of sheer panic and terror, but they are fleeting. (What’s the point?) My resilience has become formidable over the past years (although bravery is still something I'm working on ...) -- thanks to a whirlwind of travels, experiences, health issues, and near misses I could never have envisioned -- not of my own ability, but God’s – that’s for sure. And now I am poised to face whatever’s next. I’ve got my shield and sword at the ready: I am ready to kick some a**

ILLUSTRATON: okay this is a truly dodgy photo because my camera is cr*p, but you get the gist. YES my bejeweled shield has a headlight. Awesome isn't it?!