"OH SHIT!"

Sept 11 2009

Stephen has offered me these first few days off anticipating what he SAID was jet lag, but what he really knew would be this “OH SHIT!” disoriented state I am in.

I awoke not with the expected thoughts of, “Where am I?” or “What time is it?” – but with absolute doom, wondering, “What the hell am I doing here and why is it so damned cold?!” I am thousands of miles from home, in a %#&$! freezing stone shack, working full time on a boat, about to embark on an utterly insane venture of sailing to Antarctica. I must have lost my fucking mind.

So Thursday morning I slept in with the covers over my head to block out the sun, the whitewashed stone walls, the thatched roof, the smell of gasoline that permeates the piles of junk stored in the loft. Finally I surrendered and got up, and hung out all my clothes (contemplating whether I have to worry about poisonous Uruguayan snakes, as I plod across the yard to the wobbly clothes line …) The day is brisk but sunny, so I expect everything will be dry by the time I get back from the marina. Stephen came to fetch me (see if I was still here?) and walk with me down to the boat.

At the shipyard, XPLORE (AKA “The Fat English Girl”) is propped up on her keel and a cradle made of logs. To get to her deck you climb up a ladder made of planks pretty firmly nailed across two long tree trunks. Considering how much I enjoy heights (NOT!) this alone is a challenge for me, and visions of my twisted body lying in a heap amidst the paint tins and scraps of wood haunt me for days. I hold on tight.

But the boat is in excellent condition, and extremely comfortable down below. I have my own cabin all cleaned and ready for my move-in, although we are not allowed to live on board until the boat is back in the water. (Hence our stay at La Casa Muy Frio.) My cabin is on the port side forward, just behind one of two large and commodious heads (but we do NOT have a holding tank, I am pleased to hear, so nothing stinky below) and I have two bunks: one for me, and the other for storage or as our guest list demands. I decide I will sleep on the top bunk, which is a very cozy looking pipe berth with extra padding, a duvet and pillow. I figure sleeping as high as possible above the water line will be less refrigerator-like when we are in glacier strewn ice water. In addition to the bunks I’ve got four milk crates on some shelving, which will house all my worldly possessions. I ponder the need for a mirror on the wall …

There’s a carbon copy of my cabin across the hall, and two more just aft, that sleep two or three. Then the nav station, companionway; galley and main salon; and two cabins all the way back for the skipper (Stephen) and the first mate (Audrey). XPLORE really is a gorgeous boat, and I am eager for the day we can move aboard and I can consider her my home, as I think this will ease my transition. I’m approaching the coming days with optimism – not quite excitement yet, but that will come.